Understanding Surrender

For many years
I didn't feel,
Feel a single thing,
For there are deep
Deep wounds inside somewhere,
Which starts to bleed
As soon as I try to feel,
All the things which I have been
Through rough times
Which makes my heart weep.

Prince Of Water-Trust- Osho Zen Tarot

Today after so long
When I opened my heart,
I saw one of the wounds
& ran to my Tarot Cards,
Shuffled them, said a prayer,
Hoping it will make me aware
Of "How shall I heal this wound?
Stitch it up?
Or let it loose?
Asked this question & laid my cards,
On the table & stared for an hour.
Contemplating, how to ask this question again,
" Is this love? Or it ain't?
I gathered some courage
From somewhere,
To make all my doubts disappear.

Picked a card,
"Trust" it said....
And I decided to jump off.
Into the mystery
Of the unknown
& as I fell,
My heart beat rose.
For I don't know
Where will I land.
How does it matter?
Now it is out of my hand.
For I have surrendered 
To the unknown,
What will happen?
ONLY GOD KNOWS.