9 Ways To Heal Toxicity From Your Relationships

"From "Wetness and Water" How does a part of the world leave the world? How can wetness leave water? Do not try to put out a fire by throwing on more fire. Do not wash a wound with blood. No matter how fast you run, your shadow more than keeps up. Sometimes it's in front. Only full, overhead sun diminishes your shadow. But that shadow has been serving you. What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest."
-Rumi

Life is a quest for most of the people in this world, to find a person with whom they can relate with. Everyone is in search of a beautiful harmonious relationship. We meet so many people, come across so many Beautiful beings in anticipation to have that 'Zinx’. And then the moment arrives. We find a person who is all we can ask for.

The nature plays beautiful melodious Violins and guitars in the background and winds start to blow softly. Life becomes so beautiful. Nothing absurd bothers you anymore about life. Everything is so lovely, so rosy. 

Photo by Allan Filipe Santos Dias on Unsplash

Allan Filipe Santos Dias

The nature plays beautiful melodious Violins and guitars in the background and winds start to blow softly. Life becomes so beautiful. Nothing absurd bothers you anymore about life. Everything is so lovely, so rosy. You wonder how things can be so perfect in your life! Love changes your entire world. Oh it just feels so amazing to be with your beloved! â€‹

And then one day ....BANG! You are hit hard by the reality. How? By witnessing that things are not going as you want them. Your partner is not as perfect as you thought them to be. They are moody! They are dominating! They fight with you! They don't listen to you! They don't have time for you! Things were so perfect but now are becoming a mess! Oh My God! Blah Blah Blah Blah....

You feel terrible. Don't what to do because you don't know what went wrong on the first place. This scenario continues. And one day you just decide that you can't take this crap any more. So you decide to part ways (If you don't, then they do!). And if you don't walk  out of the relationship, you hang in there hoping that the other person will change or things will get better with time or you won't find anyone else etc, etc. etc.

Whatever may the situation be, either ways, kills your zest for life and we are not here to live like zombies. We deserve love and have every way possible to turn our lives around. In this everyday drama of our lives, we forget that we are divine beings having a human experience!
So what to do to transmute this toxicity from our relationships?

Love yourself

Before loving anyone else, it is important to love your own being. If you don't think that you are lovable, why anyone else will?

Forgive

First forgive yourself for your mistakes. Then forgive others too. Mistake is the most common attribute of being a human.

Take care of yourself

Look good. Lose weight. Get a makeover. Overcome health problems. (to make your partner really jealous and insecure #Wink)

Start a hobby

Work on your skills. Join a club. Give yourself time and attention.

Healing yourself

Turn within. You will realize that you are not perfect. And you don't even have to be. Hence the entire conflict demolishes ( well almost).

Inner child healing

 We all have a child within which is longing for attention and needs to be addressed.

Shadow work

These are the part in your own being which you don't want to accept or see.

EFT

Emotional Freedom Technique is the newest scientifically proven methods to heal any dysfunctional aspect of your relationship. Click here to know about the latest updates on EFT Seminars. Click here to know more about EFT.

Parts Integration

We all sometimes face an inner conflict or split. Click here to know How to integrate those fragments.

But then you will ask, “Wait a Minute. In this entire list, there is nothing that you are telling me to change in my relationship. You are just telling me to do stuff that I do with me. Not others. Are you stupid (any other word is also possible. I’m just being gentle with myself)? How can this be possible that doing all this weird stuff bring changes in my partner? How can “THEY” stop being a “*@#$” Or an “%~^#” when I just do any of the things which you have stated above?”

Well, before you just get all caught up in that drama which you are facing in your relationship, Let us understand a deeper fact about them.
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Have you ever wondered what relationships are? No seriously, beside bringing nasty heart-wrecking Situations, what else do they do?

Well. They are reflection of your internal world. The relationship which you have with your own self is reflected everywhere else. Your parents, friends, employees, Colleagues, Especially & Veeeeeery especially- Your Romantic Relationship. If you have a bad relationship with your own self, you will see it outside. This is how this subconscious catastrophe plays out. All that stated above leads you to having a beautiful relationship with your own self. â€‹

Hardship may dishearten at first, but every hardship passes away. All despair is followed by hope; all darkness is followed by sunshine. -Rumi

This may seem like a magic (for me it was nothing less than a miracle) but, as you develop a healthy relationship with your own self, every other relationship outside of you will begin to transform.

Give it a try! See the magic happening yourself! Would love to hear from you how your relationships transformed.